Book Review - Richard Roper's How Not to Die Alone

Thank you to Penguin Group Putnam for providing me with a copy of Richard Roper’s novel, How Not to Die Alone, in exchange for an honest review.

Andrew has spent years carrying around a big secret. When he was being interviewed for his current job, he accidentally told his would-be boss, that he was married and rather than correcting the mistake, Andrew went on to fabricate a life that includes a wife and two kids. The lie kept growing and now he feels that he has crossed a point of no return. He works for a government agency who handles funerals for people who have died alone and as he investigates these lives, Andrew realizes that he is in a similar position. His parents are dead and he has a rocky relationship with his sister. A series of events, including a new employee named Peggy, threaten to reveal Andrew’s manufactured life.

How Not to Die Alone is a beautiful story that is both deeply affecting and delightful. Andrew has been hit hard by life and he has reached a state of arrested development, living out a middle-aged existence in a tiny, dilapidated apartment that is filled with model trains. His only friends are those whom he communicates with solely through online message boards for model train enthusiasts. Until her untimely death, he has strained, quarterly calls with his sister, Sally. He doesn’t have a lot in common with his coworkers and is dreading the company bonding dinner parties that his boss has recently cooked up. Andrew’s life is lacking, but his imaginary life is stellar.

Andrew spends so much time crafting his imaginary family, that he almost believes that they are real. No one in his office has any reason to doubt their existence. However, when Andrew meets Peggy, he is instantly attracted to her. She’s funny, attractive, and clearly interested in Andrew. Peggy is in the process of separating from her alcoholic husband and although she may soon be available, everyone knows that Andrew is in a very happy marriage. Andrew fears that by revealing the truth, he will lose trust in his coworkers and possibly his job. Yet, if he wants to have a chance with Peggy, he will have to kill-off his imaginary family. Andrew is used to staying in the safety net of his comfort zone and this situation is forcing him to be uncomfortable. Yet, the more he considers his lie, the more he realizes that his comfort zone isn’t very comfortable. He is ready to reveal the truth, but struggling to work up the courage.

How Not to Die Alone is a story with a lot of compassion. Andrew is a complex character. He constantly lies, yet he has the empathy to attend the funerals of strangers, even when it goes beyond his job description. Roper has structured the story to pack the maximum punch, as we don’t learn the extent of Andrew’s problems until late in the novel. It’s crushing. Roper added a wonderful element of weaving the songs of Ella Fitzgerald into the story. Andrew loves Fitzgerald, but there is one song that he cannot bear to listen to and when we learn the reason why, it is devastating. The musicality works well, adding a theatrical quality to the story. The chapter where Andrew’s big trauma is revealed is very cinematic in the best possible sense.

A major theme is the consequence of dishonesty; how both being dishonest with others and with yourself, can severely impact your life. The way Andrew lies to himself and makes excuses for the life he lives, is almost worse than the lies that he tells others. Andrew is terrified of relationships, yet when he find the courage to reach out to others, they make him realize that his fear was unwarranted. A particularly lovely part of the story occurs when Andrew dares to meet his online friends in real life and to ask them for a major favor. My ultimate takeaway from How Not to Die Alone, is live boldly.

I highly recommend How Not to Die Alone. It just might end up being my favorite book of 2019. Roper is a marvelous writer and I fell in love with Andrew, rooting for him all the way. This novel gave me the warm-fuzzies.

Downtown Las Vegas Cultural Tour

Writing this trip report is bittersweet and I’ve had a difficult time working up the energy to write it. A few months ago, we lost my mother-in-law, Jan. It was unexpected and I still can’t believe that she is no longer with us.

She visited us last fall and the two us us went on a walking tour of the Downtown Las Vegas Cultural District. It was a strange and wonderful day. I was lucky to see her in January, but this day in September was really the last adventure that we took together. I’m blessed to have built many amazing memories with Jan. She was always willing to go on excursions with me and to explore new places. We had a shared affinity for many of the same authors. We both loved art museums, movies, and theatre. I may not have had many years to know Jan or my incredible father-in-law, Dave, but what was missing in time, was more than compensated with quality conversations and experiences. They are both much loved and missed.

So this last real adventure took place on the morning before Jan flew home to England. Dan had to work, so I had arranged for Jan and I to take a walking tour of the Las Vegas Cultural District that was hosted by a company called Urban Adventures. In my mind, the primary focus of the tour would be street art, such as murals, and although that was part of it, the tour ended up going directions that I could have never anticipated.

The morning got off to a dicey start, with our Lyft driver nearly refusing to drop us off in a rather seedy part of downtown Las Vegas. The cultural district is “up and coming” = emphasis on still coming. Liking to arrive early, we showed up an hour before the start of our tour, to find ourselves in an industrial part of town with shuttered businesses and empty streets.

A search on my phone led us to the nearby Vesta Coffee Roasters. This trendy and friendly local coffee house was a great find. We enjoyed lattes in the sanctuary of this eclectic haven.

The starting point for our tour was the corner of 1st and Boulder. We found a cute courtyard with a theatre and benches nearby.

Our Urban Adventures guide was Rosie, also known as “Knowsie Rosie,” since she is both knowledgable and nosy about learning new things. Rosie was a lovely tour guide, very enthusiastic and filled with facts. We happened to be the only people on the tour, so we had Rosie to ourselves!

The tour started with street art, including large scale murals and a sculpture of a cat called “Snowball in Vegas.” I love Snowball! This area is home to an art centric street fair called “First Fridays",” held on the first Friday of every month.

We popped into the Burlesque Hall of Fame, a museum dedicated to the art of burlesque. The tour didn’t allow the time for a real visit to the museum. Instead, we had a quick talk with the proprietor explaining the museum. In true burlesque fashion, they gave us a teaser so that we’d come back for more! In all seriousness, I think this would be an entertaining museum for a future Vegas holiday. It was a little awkward standing next to my mother-in-law, while being given a sales pitch to take their strip tease classes.

Next stop was a bunch of buildings absolutely covered in graffiti. I do think that some graffiti can be art, but I’m not sure where the line is drawn. Many of the buildings had tributes to the mass shooting that occurred at the Route 91 concert in 2017, inspiring the “Vegas Strong” movement. We couldn’t linger or get too close to the buildings, because of the locals hanging around.

Next we headed to a local art collective and toured several galleries that are housed in a multi-story building. If you love art, this area is definitely worth a visit to check out the local talent. There was a wide range of styles and mediums. I could have spent hours exploring the art collective.

The last part of the tour was a trip to South Main Street, which has several vintage stores and some very eclectic businesses.

We stopped for a quick refreshment at Rebar, a business that is part dive bar and part antique store. There is a dizzying amount of items to look at in Rebar. As part of our tour, we were given a cocktail, a Sailor Jerry Rum concoction for me and a white wine spritzer for Jan, plus some bar snacks. Urban Adventures Tours always include a refreshment stop, which was a welcome break in the Vegas heat. Rosie used the break to share more local history, including vintage photographs.

A unique aspect of Urban Adventures Tours is they way they introduce you to local business owners, who all share their reason for either having relocated to Vegas or their perspective of having sin city as their hometown. It’s a nice personal touch for the tours.

This part of town has several nods to the atomic age of the 1950’s, including amazing retro find in the vintage stores. There is also a salon, called the Atomic Style Lounge, that is housed in a building that used to be an info center to reassure locals that the atomic testing in the desert was safe. Here are some picture of the South Main.

To recap: I took my mother-in-law on a walking tour that involved a burlesque museum, derelict buildings covered in graffiti, and a dive bar. She was a trooper, but the last part of the tour is when things got uncomfortable. First, we were chased down the street by a business owner with a chain saw wearing a clown costume. I was freaked out and Jan told him off, because she is no-nonsense like that. This was a good month before Halloween.

However, we then crossed the street and visited Las Vegas Oddities.

Las Vegas Oddities specializes in the “Dark Arts” and is filled with taxidermy and other curiosities. It’s part museum and part shop. The stuff in the shop doesn’t bother me, so much as I find it silly. However, I could feel the uneasiness from Jan. The owner came out to talk to us and explain her business. To be fair, the owner was very nice and definitely enthusiastic about her business, if not a little intense. I need to explain that Jan was a vegetarian for most of her life. coming from a place of loving animals. She stood there, with all of the glass-eyes of dead animals watching, as the owner explained her love for not only dead things, but how she legally acquires human bones to create jewelry that she sells. Jan had to be mortified, but she politely feigned interest and asked questions: I mean, what bones make the best bracelets?

It was so awkward.

I tend to giggle when I’m uncomfortable and it took every ounce of will-power to maintain my composure. I am so working this into a story one day.

I was certain that Jan would go back to England and tell everyone about this bizarre tour that I had arranged for us. But she said nothing. When she mentioned her trip , her biggest take-away was looking at model homes in Palm Springs. Model homes decked out with Alexa technology. Jan hated technology. This shouldn’t have been a surprise.

We bookended our morning with lattes at Makers & Finders Urban Coffee, located on South Main. Makers & Finders is another gem and they have an amazing lavender infused latte, which is a must try. It’s worth heading off the strip for a lavender latte and if you’re so inclined, you can buy some pinkie bone earrings a few doors down!

Book Review - Randy Susan Meyers' Waisted

Thank you to Atria Books for providing me with a copy of Randy Susan Meyers’ novel. Waisted, in exchange for an honest review.

Weight gain has been a life-long struggle for Alice. However, she met her husband, Clancy, when she was going through an tough time in her life, which resulted in weight loss. Now, over the years, which included giving birth, the pounds have piled back on and Clancy feels that his wife is not the woman that he married. Through this strain in their relationship, Alice runs off to participate in a weight loss reality show called “Waisted.” She does not tell Clancy until she has left for the show, because Clancy is in the documentary film industry and “Waisted” is being produced by his biggest rival.

During the filming of “Waisted,” Alice becomes fast-friends with her roommate and fellow contestant, Daphne. Daphne has a supportive husband, but she has a negative body image from her overbearing mother. Daphne has even tried bulimia to keep the pounds off.

From the first day of filming it is clear that “Waisted” is not the show that was originally pitched to the contestants. Rather than a wellness retreat, “Waisted” is more of a hardcore bootcamp. The women are stripped of their possessions, including phone access, and are made to wear unflattering jumpsuits. They are belittled, starved, and exercised to exhaustion. When they are given amphetamines to push their weight loss goals to unsafe levels, the women seek to find out the truth about the production and what they discover is shocking.

Meyers tackles heavy themes of self-love, body acceptance, and family dynamics. I found her overall message to be positive and uplifting. I especially like a scene in the novel where Daphne, a make-up artist by trade, helps an disadvantaged teenager build her self-confidence, by giving her skin care and make-up tips to cover extreme acne. I liked how it showed that it is okay to both love yourself and acceptable to use fashion or make-up: the two don’t have to be separate. Earlier in the story, Daphne hides behind her make-up, using her skills to create a distraction from her body, highlighting features like her beautiful eyes. However, as soon as Daphne lets go worrying about her body, her make-up becomes part of her self-expression, rather than a shield.

Alice and Daphne are two strong, female protagonists and the story is structured to alternate between their lives at home and their time on “Waisted.” The weight issues aside, I think many women will find aspects of these character’s lives and emotions to be relatable. I was rooting for these characters to succeed, especially Alice dealing with her emotionally abusive husband. I found Daphne’s desperation, including the use of pills and bulimia, to be heartbreaking.

Unfortunately, the plot for Waisted is very messy. An exciting story opportunity was missed with the reality show aspect. “Waisted” is quite horrific and we learn that the aim of the show is to expose the extremes that women will go to in the name of weight loss. Its purpose is to be shocking and not to actually help these women meet their goals. The concept of this could have made a potentially intriguing story, especially holding a mirror to the way our society gobbles up these types of shows. I have no doubt that if a real version of “Waisted” aired on American television, it would be both a sensation and crucified. People would not admit to enjoying it, but they would secretly watch it and the ratings would be high. We live in a time where it is both still socially acceptable to shame fat people and one where we promote the idea of having a positive body image. I think things will shift towards being more body positive, but we are not there quite yet. Meyer had a real opportunity to play with the larger societal impact of a show like “Waisted” and that would have been intriguing.

Unfortunately, the women’s participation in “Waisted” fizzles. They leave the show and make efforts to expose the producers, but there is not a truly satisfying conclusion to this issue. I was let-down. I felt like the story was heading in the direction of making a real statement against the reality television production, but the plot meandered and focused more on the individual relationships that the main characters have with their families. This was important too of course, especially in the area of character development and growth, but it was far less interesting than the fallout from “Waisted.”

Waisted is strong in character development, but weak in plot. Often, I can overlook weak plots if the characters are great, but in this case, I can’t overlook the missed opportunities in the storyline. Although Waisted tackles important and sensitive topics, it only skims the surface and goes for cliches. For this reason, I can’t recommend it.