Hidden Trauma

I was thrilled to have my essay “Weight” published in the Spring 2020 edition of Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine. In the essay, which I wrote during my time at the UCLA Extension Fiction Writer’s Program, detailed my conflicting emotions in the wake of my aunt’s death in 2013.

Intima gave me a second publishing opportunity as a contributor to their Crossroads Blog. The concept of the blog is to have those published in the current edition of Intima, pick a previous contributor and make a connection between the works. Intima’s mission is to foster communication, connection, and understanding.

I picked a drawing by Bolivian artist Inés Ixierda called “Fasciotomy.” Ixerda’s drawing spoke to my feelings about my aunt’s sudden femur break and the immense pain that she experienced in the final years of her life.

Clink here for a link to my blog post- “Hidden Trauma.”

In both my essay and blog response, I mention my Aunt Trudy’s beauty and glamour. To this end, I wanted to post a few more of my favorite pictures of her. It’s so easy to be left with unpleasant final memories of a loved one, especially under strained circumstances, but I also like to remember the vibrant life that my aunt led prior to her injuries. She was fun and the life of the party.

This is my absolute favorite picture of my aunt! I wish I was that cool and I want her boots!

A picture of my aunt in Hawaii in 1968. Her stunning legs prior to their devastating injury. I’m reminded that the accident didn’t define her and those legs kept her dancing, playing golf, and generally enjoying life for far more years than they caused her pain.

Social Distancing in Littleton/Florida = Weeks 24-27

It has been a month since I’ve written a general update about the state of the world. We spent two of the weeks in Florida, returning a week ago.

This was our second set of flights during 2020, and our second time visiting Florida. We had such great time on my birthday trip, that we wanted to explore the idea of buying a vacation home or perhaps even moving full time to Florida.

We flew United again, which was a much better covid experience this time around. We did the same route, Denver to Tampa. Nearly everyone was complying with the mask mandate. We didn’t sit in first-class this time, so we were worried that we would have to share our row with a stranger. On the flight out, the middle seat was empty, and on the flight home, we had a stranger sitting by the window. Dan sat in the middle. I realize that leaving our house is risky, but I do feel much better when people are following social distancing and wearing masks. The only hiccup is on the flight home, United ran out of the antiseptic wipes that they hand out as you board. I thought this was a pretty bad oversight during these times. Luckily, I had extra wipes. I also wish they didn’t fill the flights. I guess on the positive, it is good for the economy that people are traveling and spending money.

We stayed in an Airbnb rental house in Kissimmee. The house was clean and felt safe. We had a private pool overlooking a lake, which was nice. It certainly felt safer than a hotel, as we didn’t come in contact with anyone while at the house. We kept our normal work schedules, so we were home a lot.

As before, dining-out was similar to Denver rules = Keep a mask on while walking through the restaurant and the tables are distanced. We played mini-golf, which was the same as usual, we just used a lot of hand sanitizer as we were touching things.

The biggest surprise is Dan bought us day tickets for Disney’s Hollywood Studios, so we could experience Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge.

We arrived at park opening and immediately got in the queue for Smugger’s Run. I’m not sure that Disney was as strict as Sea World with safety protocol, but I generally felt okay, especially when we escaped the crowds bunching-up at the entrance. I hate to admit that the park felt less magical. The sense of atmosphere was diminished ( a few storm troopers, but that was it) and there were queues for every store. I kind of wish we had waited to visit.

After Smuggler’s Run, we got a call from my stepson, Felix. He wanted to play video games with Dan, a normal part of their weekend routine, so we decided to leave the park. Our original plan was to upgrade our day pass to annual passes, which we have done in the past. We figured that with an annual pass, coming to the parks for a few hours wouldn’t be a big deal. We wouldn't need to squeeze all of the fun into one day.

It was absolutely pouring rain and the guest relations staff were standing outside with umbrellas. I think this was to prevent unnecessary people from entering the small guest relations room. A regretful employee informed us that Disney had temporarily stop selling annual passes. Deflated, we went home and I called Disney to get to the bottom of it. They offered to refund our day ticket, so in the end, we could not upgrade, but we did get 90 minutes in the park for free. That was the extent of our time at Disney. I’m hoping we will go back with the kids for Christmas or next summer and get our annual passes!

We found a vacation house and put in an offer. It looked great on the surface and we were really excited to become owners of a short-term rental property near Disney. However, upon the inspection problems arose and we decided that it no longer looked like an attractive deal. We backed out, and since we were going home shortly after, we didn’t look at more properties. I’m not sure if we will revisit this idea or let it die.

We enjoyed other Orlando activities, such as The Chocolate Kingdom, mini golf, and the Orlando Cat Cafe. I will write about all of this in a more detailed trip report, but I did want to share a picture of a cat named Todd.

We absolutely fell in love with Todd, who just wants to cuddle and take a nap. He is the sleepiest cat ever! We were thinking of how we could adopt him and get him back to Denver, when he was snatched up by another human. We hope he is off to a loving home with great sleeping spots!

Speaking of cats, we’ve had quite the stressful time with Slinky this last week. On Sunday, he started acting odd. He was lethargic and stopped eating/drinking. Today, we took him to the vet and he was given medicine and fluids. We are waiting for the lab results. Luckily, he seems to have perked up a bit with the fluids, and he did eat/drink a little when he came home. He also seems more feisty. I’ve been crying buckets for the last few days, worried that we would have to put him down, but now I feel like he is rebounding. Happy thoughts that he continues to get better and that the labs don’t reveal anything serious.

I was devastated to hear of the passing of Justice Ginsburg. I was upset enough at our Colorado Governor Cory Gardner to write him a letter regarding his decision to vote to confirm Trump’s nominee. I don’t expect Gardner to change his mind, as he is very much in Trump’s pocket, but I did feel better writing the letter. I’m mostly upset that republicans are going back on their word and the precedent set when Obama had a similar situation in his final year of presidency. I’m also definitely worried about who might get confirmed and what that could mean for future rulings. The world feels fragile.

I have a political themed movie recommendation: Irresistible starring Steve Carell and Chris Cooper. Irresistible is from the mind of John Stewart and follows a small town election that catches national interest, causing heavy-hitters from both major political parties to interfere. It’s a surprising and intelligent movie with a good dose of humor. We watched it last weekend and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Cordella Magazine sent me their latest literary journal. It was wrapped so beautifully, that I wanted to share a picture. Hurray for packages in the mail!

Fall has arrived, but we still have summer weather. We missed a small snow storm when we were in Florida. Check out this stunning sunset!

Apparently migrating tarantulas have been spotted in our neighborhood, but we haven’t seen them. We did have a wasps nest removed. I’ll take wasps over tarantulas.

Finally, some cat pictures. I’m transforming…

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Book Review: Rachel Beanland's Florence Adler Swims Forever

Thank you to Simon and Schuster for providing me with a copy of Rachel Beanland’s Novel, Florence Adler Swims Forever, in exchange for an honest review.

Nineteen-year-old Florence Adler dreams of being among a handful of women to successfully swim the English Channel. It is 1934 and she is spending the summer practicing in the oceans of Atlantic City, coached by Stuart, a handsome life guard and son of a wealthier hotelier.

Tragedy strikes when during an afternoon swim, without Stuart’s watchful eye, Florence drowns. Her grief stricken parents, Joseph and Esther, make the choice to hide Florence’s death from their older daughter, Fannie, who is on bedrest in a local hospital during a high-risk pregnancy. Previously, Fannie lost a child after a premature delivery, and her family is fearful that the news of Florence’s death could lead to another loss. They cannot bear another loss. They keep the news quiet and even ask Fannie’s doctors and nurses to hide the information from her, removing the radio from her room and keeping her away from newspapers. Can they keep this charade for two months and how will the lie impact the people Florence loved?

Florence Adler Swims Forever has been one of my favorite reads of 2020. It’s emotional, surprising, and inspirational. I absolutely fell in love with the characters, in particular, Florence’s niece, Gussie, who is seven. The story alternates between different perspectives and when we get to Gussie’s chapters, we really see through the eyes of a child who is trying to understand complex adult decisions. Gussie is staying with her grandparents, while her mother is in the hospital. Her father, Issac, is a peripheral figure, visiting his in-laws for the occasional dinner and seeing his wife a few times a week. We quickly learn that although Issac loves his daughter, he is a man with goals that do not align with having a family.

Gussie spends most of her time with Anna, a young woman from Germany who is spending the summer with the Adler family. Gussie doesn’t know exactly what to make of Anna, who isn’t a relative. Prior to immigrating to the United States, Joseph was engaged to Anna’s mother, and even though Anna is not his child, he felt the need to help her escape from the increasingly dangerous Nazi Germany. Joseph also hopes to help Anna’s parent’s immigrate, something that he can’t quite articulate to his wife, who does not realize that he was more than childhood friends with Anna’s mother. She doesn’t understand why her husband is drawn to helping this foreign family, when their own family is struggling.

While I was reading, I did not realize that Florence Adler Swims Forever is based on the true story of Beanland’s great aunts. It is fictionalized, but just knowing that Florence Adler existed made me connect with the story even more. Also the idea that a family kept their grief hidden to protect their other daughter’s pregnancy is heartbreaking. I had chills when I read that it is based on a true story.

Beanland is a fabulous writer. Florence Adler Swims Forever has a satisfying ending with all of the loose-ends tied, however, this is my plea to Beanland to continue with the Adler family in another novel. I need to know what happens to Fannie, and if Anna’s family escapes Germany. I want to see Gussie grow up and meet Ruby. I love these characters and I want more!!! Please Beanland!!!

Also, I wouldn’t mind a movie or mini-series. Imagine the fabulous costumes and sets! It’s all so wonderful.

I cannot say enough lovely things about Florence Adler Swims Forever. Read it now and have the Kleenex handy.