Thank you to NetGalley and Scriber for a copy of Beth Nguyen’s memoir, Owner of a Lonely Heart.

At less than a year old, Beth Nguyen left Vietnam with her father’s family to begin a new life in Michigan. In the tumult of fleeing at the end of the Vietnam War, Nguyen’s mother was left behind. Nguyen was raised in a new country with a completely different culture, not meeting her mom until she turned nineteen. Her mother also immigrated to America, but was living in a different state with a new family.

When Nguyen and her sister finally met their mother, the reunion was not as they had anticipated. Their mother was distant and seemed flighty, often abruptly cutting their meetings short or canceling all together.

Nguyen estimates that in her adult life, she has spent less than twenty-four hours with her mom, time spent during those shortened visits. Now, a mother herself, Nguyen reflects on this fraught relationship with her mother and the pain that her mother must have felt at being separated from her daughters.

Owner of a Lonely Heart is a force of a memoir. It’s an emotional, difficult read, but also so very beautiful. The beauty comes from the ultimate kindness and understanding that Nguyen affords her mom. Initially, Nguyen is hurt and struggles to understand why her mom keeps her distance. I don’t think the hurt disappears, however, when Nguyen has her son, she can understand that it’s not because her mom doesn’t love her, it is because the hurt is too great. Her mom is protecting herself from further pain and they might be able to have a deeper relationship, but it will take time.

Nguyen also acknowledges the relationship with her stepmother, who has been part of her life from a young age. This is the woman who mothered her and there is so much love in their family. However, Nguyen has curiosity about her birth mother and their life in Vietnam.

Owner of a Lonely Heart is about exploring unanswered parts of your family and past. I connected with this theme. My father died when I was four and due to the sensitive circumstances, it was not discussed. I’ve always felt there were things unanswered that I want to know. I can fit the things I know about my dad on two hands, so I can understand Nguyen’s jumping at the opportunity to meet with her mom and try to understand her, even though her mom is reluctant.

A truly gut wrenching memoir, Owner of a Lonely Heart is a must-read. One of the best non-fiction books I’ve read in 2023.