Thank you to Blackstone Publishing for providing me with a copy of Nora Zelevansky’s novel, Competitive Grieving, in exchange for an honest review.
Wren is devastated by the sudden loss of her childhood friend, Stewart. Wren and Stewart were neighbors, their friendship sealed since infancy, when both of their mother’s were pregnant at the same time. Their friendship endured, as Stewart’s family became wealthy and moved into a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, while Wren’s artsy parents struggled financially, creating a divide between Stewart and Wren’s families.
Stewart further changed, when his acting career began to take-off, soon, he was not simply Wren’s Stewart, but the famous Stewart Beasley. In the days following his death, it is revealed that Stewart left specific instructions to have Wren, along with Stewart’s lawyer (and friend) George, go through his apartment and help with the memorial plans. Wren is further devastated to have to contend with friends from other parts of Stewart’s life, who are also grieving. Wren sees them as vultures, desperate to grab pieces of the friend she loved, and sees their grief as “competitive,” each person trying to prove their connection to Stewart in a twisted game.
Wren is told that Stewart died of a brain aneurysm, but as she digs through his apartment and gains little pieces of information, such as a mysterious heartbroken woman at Stewart’s memorial service, she suspects that this is not the truth.
The premise of Competitive Grieving is strong. It made me reflect on the idea of how we have a special relationship with each person we know and that it is impossible to quantify the depth of those relationships. Just as Wren struggles with her identity of being Stewart’s “best friend,” I struggled with this when my mom passed away. It’s hard to see the grief of others, when you feel that your own grief is superior. Now, far removed from the situation, I have the perspective that grief is simply not like that. As Wren comes to realize, everyone is entitled to their own grieving and no one has a right to judge it. Just as my mom meant different things to different people, things that I have no way of understanding, Stewart had different relationships, different friendships, that did not concern Wren.
Wren is not an easy character. Through much of Competitive Grieving, she is reactionary and wallowing. The story only spans a few weeks, but it is hard to be in Wren’s shoes. It fits with the themes of the story and Wren’s character arc, but it’s not an easy place to be and as such, I did not find Competitive Grieving to be a quick read. I could only handle a few chapters at a time.
I don’t want to give anything away with this review, as the mystery of Stewart is a carefully crafted reveal to maximize an emotional punch. Zelevansky is masterful at handling a delicate topic with grace and humanity. This particular situation is a bit of a trigger for me and reading Competitive Grieving was one of the rare times that this subject made me feel less angry and more compassionate. I appreciate Zelevansky’s ability to change my perspective.
