Yesterday, during some frank relationship talk with friends, the question that seems to plague women and drive them crazy, was posed. This question seems to come up in every Meg Ryan movie and probably half of the Sex and the City episodes.

How do I know if he likes me? Perhaps more specific, if he does like me, how long will he wait to call for a second date? What's the time frame?

The friend posing the question had just been on a first date and although it went well, she had doubts.

I had never really put a lot of thought into the question. Sure, there have been times where I have worried over the same issue, especially when I was younger or a bit insecure post-divorce.

I feel like this whole idea of a specific time frame for calling is ridiculous. Not only that, it confuses both men and women. It turns relationships into a game, which is the one big thing people complain about when they are jaded from dating. No more games.

When I analyze my past relationships (because us girls like to break everything down), I realized that all of my significant relationships have one thing in common, the guy let me know right away. I've never had a date waiting period. I was called within twenty-four hours, usually less, to set up a second date. They didn't keep me waiting. They were clear and direct about their feelings, which is a very sexy trait. It showed initiative and self confidence.

The only times that I have been asked on a second date after a waiting period are by guys that were straddeling the friend-zone or only looking for a physical relationship. I've learned that if they make you wait, that they are "Just not that into you". It's okay, the feelings were mutual. The only bad part is it left me feeling like the guy was a bit slimy or unreliable, for trying for a second date, instead of owning-up.

I've had the quasi-date experience. This is where the guy is great and I've placed him squarely in the friend category, but they don't realize it. On the reverse, they think we are on a date and I'm too oblivious to realize that they are trying for something more. This is heartbreaking, because it has happened a few times and the guy is always someone that I genuinely like and care about as a friend. Every time this has happened the guy didn't take the early initiative to clarify their feelings and it ultimately ended in a hurt filled mess.

Bold moves early on are key.

If he's into you, he will let you know that you're worth keeping. He will lock in that second date so that you don't move on and get scooped up by someone else. If he doesn't take the initiative, you shouldn't waste time analyzing it.

Men, if you are reading this, I am not letting women off the hook. Women should also make their feeling clear, instead of being coy or stringing a guy along. The second date doesn't always fall squarely into the guys court. Dan asked for a second date right away, but I took ownership of planning it and taking him out.

Relationships, including early dating are a partnership. I've learned that it's important to be forthright with your feelings and to show how you value the other person. Clarity will prevent both people from going crazy analyzing the details and potentially missing out on a great relationship.

Candace Bushnell is one of those authors that I always feel compelled to read, even if her books never quite satisfy. Scratch that, her books are usually terrible. However, I keep buying them, so here we go...

I picked up Bushnell's, One Fifth Avenue, on the Barnes and Noble bargain table several years ago and it has sat on my to-be-read shelf, until last week. I've been in a reading slump and needed a beach read to get me back on track.

Bushnell's rise to fame is due to the popularity of the television version of, Sex and the City. The television show was fantastic, unfortunately, the book version was not. I think she lucked out when someone saw potential in her characters and could make them better.

The problem central to all of Bushnell's books are that none of the characters are ever remotely likable or relatable. They all come across as callous, self involved and snobby. It's impossible to even like the characters that you know are supposed to like. All of her characters put up walls and she doesn't allow enough venerability to let the reader inside. It's a problem.

That being said, One Fifth Avenue was the most fun of all of her books. The book follows the lives and scandals of the residents of an exclusive building in Manhattan. It's often very salacious and reminded me a bit of a Jacqueline Suzanne novel. It didn't immediately grab me, but after the first quarter of the book, I was along for the ride.

Bushnell has a lot to say about our cultural obsession with money and the aspiration to obtain a certain status, even at the expense of personal wellness and relationships. All of the characters in the story are in their own struggle with deciding what value to place on social status and material wealthy. Every character to some degree obsesses over their image and stature. On that level, the book sets a tone of desperation, because nothing ever seems quite enough.

Bushnell isn't a great author and this isn't a great book. However, it was good enough for a beach read and for a bargain table price, I feel that it was money well spent.