I'm Published!!!!

Over the weekend, a non-fiction piece that I wrote was published in Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine. I wrote about grieving for my Aunt Trudy. Specifically, the complicated relationship that we had in her final years and reconciling those final memories, with my memories of a doting aunt who was vibrant, fun, and loving.

Just before Christmas in 2013, Aunt Trudy passed away after suffering organ failure following a back surgery. Her surgery seemed to have gone well and it was a surprise to everyone, including her doctors, that she didn’t recover. I suppose some of it shouldn’t have been a surprise, as her husband, the love of her life, my Uncle Larry, passed away earlier the same year. She was heartbroken, lonely, and due to her own medical issues, in a ton of pain.

Although my aunt was certainly my uncle’s primary care taker, I stepped in to help during the last years of their lives. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention all of the wonderful friends who helped me. My aunt and uncle never had children, but they certainly had a tight-knit group of friends and I’m so grateful for them.

I was living part-time at their house in Orange County and towards the end, I even moved my cats into their home with the intention of living with them full-time. Fate intervened and I met Dan, my now husband, in early 2012. Although I spent more days at their house, I moved in with Dan instead.

Unfortunately, this increased the tension I felt with my aunt, especially after my uncle died. I believe that she liked Dan and was happy for us, but it also took me away from her. We fought and we were hurtful towards each other. It wasn’t just about my new relationship, but also how my relationship changed with her. Aunt Trudy was a strong personality and she didn’t like relying on anyone. She was a natural caregiver. Our roles reversed and this was challenging.

As much as I tried to avoid it, occasionally I found myself acting like a parent and she the child. We have a small family and outside of distant relatives that I don’t even know, it was just us left. Compounding the problem we’re her pain pills. She had an accident in 2010, where she suddenly snapped her femur and it required emergency surgery. The surgery to implant a rod in her leg was unsuccessful and it required a second surgery, followed by multiple back and neck surgeries. It was really horrible for her and I don’t deny that she needed heavy doses of pain medication. However, that medication changed her personality. It made her angry and edgy.

During my time at the UCLA Extension Writer’s Program, I wrote about these feelings in my essay, Weight. I’ve sat on this essay since 2014 and I finally decided that I was ready to send it out into the world. I was thrilled when Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine wanted to publish it.

I have to confess that my excitement was tempered by the fear that some of my aunt’s friends might read Weight and find it too personal. I wrote my essay from a place of both love and truth, but it was also uncomfortable to admit some of those truths. Luckily, I’ve received messages of support from many of her close friends and now my fears have been replaced with pride.

I’m going to close with a few pictures of my gorgeous Aunt Trudy. She was stylish, witty, and charming. She was generous with a big heart. It still hurts to know that her last years were filled with emotional and physical pain, but none of that can diminish her vibrant life.

My aunt and uncle picking up their marriage license in Las Vegas. Look at the love in my aunt’s gaze!

She showed champion Norwegian Elkhounds.

and finally…a picture of my aunt and I in Chicago.

Los Angeles Auto Show 2015

I'm not interested in cars. However, buy me an over-priced convention center latte and I don't mind coming along for the ride. On Thanksgiving morning, Dan and I headed downtown for the 2015 Los Angeles Auto Show.

Having been to the auto show in the past, we quickly realized that Thanksgiving is the best time to attend. The crowds were minimal, and even non-existent later in the day. Usually, the crowds are akin to heading to the mall midday on Black Friday, but on Thanksgiving, we were able to enjoy the show.

Here are the pictures, most of the commentary will be short and sweet, because I can't identify the cars. When I'm looking for my own car in a parking lot, I have my eye out for the "grey one". Not kidding.

In 2015, we ended the leases of our two Smart Cars. We may no longer be Smart Car drivers, but we still like checking out the new designs. They've changed the shape on the new models and I'm not a fan. If you're going to have a small car, it better be cute and the old shape was "cuter".

Dan's parents recently bought a new Honda and we think that it looks like this one! The bright yellow is perfect to bring cheer on a cloudy day in England.

Bond!

Alfa Romeo knew how to get my attention...with some Louboutins!

Mini Cooper wins for the most stylish and adorable cars, plus some of the friendliest booth attendants at the show.

We actually came to the show to check out trucks, as we now have our eye towards something appropriate for Big Bear Lake.

Initially, we were very interested in the Chevy Colorado, primarily for its length. It's one of the few trucks that will also fit into our small garage in Glendale. However, after talking with a Chevy Product Manager, we are now dreaming of a Silverado. The one we saw was snazzy!

For the first time, we did a few test drives at the auto show, again taking advantage of the low crowds on Thanksgiving. We tested a Jeep Renegade, Fiat 500X and a Toyota Tacoma. This was more for fun, rather than vehicles that we were seriously considering. The test drives included short jaunts in the blocks surrounding the Convention Center, with a product manager explaining the features. It's a great way to test out a bunch of vehicles without getting a hard sale. Additionally, they bribed us with popcorn and Jones Soda.

A bonus surprise was running into friends from Universal Studios Hollywood at the Auto Show. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and ended it in a non-traditional way by heading to a Chinese Restaurant. Maybe a new tradition has begun?

Celebrating the 4th in a New Way

With the exception of two years, I have always spent the 4th of July with my family. The two years that I skipped out, were due to having to work, the only acceptable excuse for missing my Aunt and Uncle's annual pool party. It used to be a big deal, between 30-40 people, BBQ, pool volleyball and fireworks. The party has dwindled over the years and is now more of a small gathering rather than a party. Still, attendance on my part was considered mandatory, I've never enjoyed it. I love the people who come, but a whole day of sitting around the pool, helping out and making small talk is just not my idea of a fun way to spend the 4th. Additionally, the mandatory attendance just irks me. Somehow, the 4th has been elevated to a family holiday, near to the same level as Thanksgiving or Christmas. This year, I decided to make a stand. It resulted in a bit of family drama and a fight, but I just wasn't going to do the normal 4th of July routine. I asserted my independence. This refusal led to a day without plans and an adventure!

For as long as I have known him, Dan has been wanting to drive up route two and into Angeles National Park. Growing up in Glendale, the Angeles Forrest is in my backyard, but I had never explored it. We fueled up on pancakes and hit the road with no particular destination in mind.

Here is one of our Smart Cars on Angeles Crest Highway. Zippy and a convertible, a perfect partner on our expedition.

Beautiful winding roads and nearly empty of other drivers, we decided to head up to Mount WIlson. Growing up in Southern California, I heard mention of Mount Wilson constantly on the news. The "Mount Wilson Cam" is always talked about with the weather reports. However, Mount Wilson was a vague concept, because I never knew or bothered to find out where it was located. Let me tell you that is was worth the drive.

Look what we saw at the top of Mount Wilson

And beautiful wildflowers at the head of a hiking trail. Next time we will come prepared to go on a hike.

Lastly, a memorial marker that has a bit of a tie in to the 4th of July with the D.A.R.. Speaking of which, I remember as a child that my mom was thinking of joining the D.A.R., which thinking back now, just seems odd.

After our driving adventure, we ended up having our own Hot Dog eating contest on the patio and washing it down with bucket loads of wine. The best 4th of July ever! ( Dan even said so and he naturally makes a point NOT to celebrate the day)