Cordella Magazine- "Belonging"

I’m thrilled to announce that my poem, “Belonging” was recently published in Cordella Magazine’s Field Notes. Please check it out here: Belonging.

I wrote “Belonging” several years ago, in Rick Bursky’s poetry course through the UCLA Extension Writer’s Program. It was a great class, really my first time writing poetry. Bursky was supportive and a wonderful instructor.

As a bizarre, “Only in Los Angeles” side-note, Francis Bean Cobain was one of my classmates. She didn’t call attention to herself, yet it was very clear to everyone that we had a semi-celebrity in our presence. The even more strange thing is, she is someone with whom I’ve always felt a bit of a connection, as two California kids who both lost their fathers to suicide when we were too young to remember them. I was sixteen when Kurt Cobain died, and I’ve always kept Frances Bean in my mind. Losing a parent, let alone to suicide, is a beyond shitty club that no one wants to be a member.

I finished at UCLA Extension in 2016, but didn’t start sending out my work for publication until Covid hit. It was very exciting when Cordella Magazine, a wonderful lit mag that supports women, picked up “Belonging” for its Field Notes section.

“Belonging” is loosely inspired by my former brother-in-law (first marriage), who was a landscape designer. He had a demanding client with a very fancy, expensive koi pond. Oddly enough, my sister-in-law from my second marriage is also a landscape designer. It’s definitely wonderful to have family members who create beauty in the world. I can’t remember the direct assignment for this particular poem, but I remember focusing on language and line breaks.

I’m simply very excited to see my work out in the world and I hope that you will check-it out.

Book Review- Lisa Cron's Story Genius: How to Use Brain Science to go Beyond Outlining and Write a Riveting Novel

I don’t often review writing craft books, but Lisa Cron has helped me dig my way out of a cycle of dead-end edits. She is a story structure wizard and her book, Story Genius: How to Use Brain Science to go Beyond Outlining and Write a Riveting Novel, has been priceless for getting me back on track with my story.

A bit of backstory; I graduated from the UCLA Extension Writer’s Program several years ago, and had a solid first draft of a novel. As part of my UCLA experience, I was able to pick one professor to give me a written critique and meeting regarding my manuscript. I picked the incredible, New York Times Bestselling author, Caroline Leavitt for my review. Leavitt had been my instructor for a story structure course and had been very supportive of my writing. She also happens to have given a blurb on the cover of Story Genius. I came across Story Genius separately from working with Leavitt, but I was not surprised to see the connection. Leavitt gave me great advice on how to proceed with my edits, but as I moved forward, I still felt stuck. Last spring, I joined a writer’s critique group, and I have been testing fundamental changes to both my protagonist and the first part of my story, but nothing was working.

Story Genius had been sitting on my bookshelf, so I decided to give it a read. It’s an eye-opener! Cron gives a clear explanation of what attracts humans to stories, including how it triggers us in ways we don’t realize. She details the fundamental elements that stories must have, and how to make sure these key ideas are woven into your story.

Her book has exercises to create story structure prior to outlining or writing your novel. The exercises will develop your characters, which in turn, will inform your plot. I read through Story Genius without doing the exercises, and now, I’m going through the book a second time, following the exercises. Immediately, I feel like I’m on the right path towards correcting the problems with my novel. I had been in a huge slump, but now I feel confident that I know how to solve my character and story structure issues. More than confident, I’m excited about my story. I’m excited to write. The initial thrill is back!

Story Genius is an indispensable craft book, and I only wish that I had known about it prior to starting my novel. I highly recommend it for writers of all levels. I’m sure that it will be read many times, especially as I embark on new projects.

I'm Published!!!!

Over the weekend, a non-fiction piece that I wrote was published in Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine. I wrote about grieving for my Aunt Trudy. Specifically, the complicated relationship that we had in her final years and reconciling those final memories, with my memories of a doting aunt who was vibrant, fun, and loving.

Just before Christmas in 2013, Aunt Trudy passed away after suffering organ failure following a back surgery. Her surgery seemed to have gone well and it was a surprise to everyone, including her doctors, that she didn’t recover. I suppose some of it shouldn’t have been a surprise, as her husband, the love of her life, my Uncle Larry, passed away earlier the same year. She was heartbroken, lonely, and due to her own medical issues, in a ton of pain.

Although my aunt was certainly my uncle’s primary care taker, I stepped in to help during the last years of their lives. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention all of the wonderful friends who helped me. My aunt and uncle never had children, but they certainly had a tight-knit group of friends and I’m so grateful for them.

I was living part-time at their house in Orange County and towards the end, I even moved my cats into their home with the intention of living with them full-time. Fate intervened and I met Dan, my now husband, in early 2012. Although I spent more days at their house, I moved in with Dan instead.

Unfortunately, this increased the tension I felt with my aunt, especially after my uncle died. I believe that she liked Dan and was happy for us, but it also took me away from her. We fought and we were hurtful towards each other. It wasn’t just about my new relationship, but also how my relationship changed with her. Aunt Trudy was a strong personality and she didn’t like relying on anyone. She was a natural caregiver. Our roles reversed and this was challenging.

As much as I tried to avoid it, occasionally I found myself acting like a parent and she the child. We have a small family and outside of distant relatives that I don’t even know, it was just us left. Compounding the problem we’re her pain pills. She had an accident in 2010, where she suddenly snapped her femur and it required emergency surgery. The surgery to implant a rod in her leg was unsuccessful and it required a second surgery, followed by multiple back and neck surgeries. It was really horrible for her and I don’t deny that she needed heavy doses of pain medication. However, that medication changed her personality. It made her angry and edgy.

During my time at the UCLA Extension Writer’s Program, I wrote about these feelings in my essay, Weight. I’ve sat on this essay since 2014 and I finally decided that I was ready to send it out into the world. I was thrilled when Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine wanted to publish it.

I have to confess that my excitement was tempered by the fear that some of my aunt’s friends might read Weight and find it too personal. I wrote my essay from a place of both love and truth, but it was also uncomfortable to admit some of those truths. Luckily, I’ve received messages of support from many of her close friends and now my fears have been replaced with pride.

I’m going to close with a few pictures of my gorgeous Aunt Trudy. She was stylish, witty, and charming. She was generous with a big heart. It still hurts to know that her last years were filled with emotional and physical pain, but none of that can diminish her vibrant life.

My aunt and uncle picking up their marriage license in Las Vegas. Look at the love in my aunt’s gaze!

She showed champion Norwegian Elkhounds.

and finally…a picture of my aunt and I in Chicago.