I'm Published!!!!

Over the weekend, a non-fiction piece that I wrote was published in Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine. I wrote about grieving for my Aunt Trudy. Specifically, the complicated relationship that we had in her final years and reconciling those final memories, with my memories of a doting aunt who was vibrant, fun, and loving.

Just before Christmas in 2013, Aunt Trudy passed away after suffering organ failure following a back surgery. Her surgery seemed to have gone well and it was a surprise to everyone, including her doctors, that she didn’t recover. I suppose some of it shouldn’t have been a surprise, as her husband, the love of her life, my Uncle Larry, passed away earlier the same year. She was heartbroken, lonely, and due to her own medical issues, in a ton of pain.

Although my aunt was certainly my uncle’s primary care taker, I stepped in to help during the last years of their lives. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention all of the wonderful friends who helped me. My aunt and uncle never had children, but they certainly had a tight-knit group of friends and I’m so grateful for them.

I was living part-time at their house in Orange County and towards the end, I even moved my cats into their home with the intention of living with them full-time. Fate intervened and I met Dan, my now husband, in early 2012. Although I spent more days at their house, I moved in with Dan instead.

Unfortunately, this increased the tension I felt with my aunt, especially after my uncle died. I believe that she liked Dan and was happy for us, but it also took me away from her. We fought and we were hurtful towards each other. It wasn’t just about my new relationship, but also how my relationship changed with her. Aunt Trudy was a strong personality and she didn’t like relying on anyone. She was a natural caregiver. Our roles reversed and this was challenging.

As much as I tried to avoid it, occasionally I found myself acting like a parent and she the child. We have a small family and outside of distant relatives that I don’t even know, it was just us left. Compounding the problem we’re her pain pills. She had an accident in 2010, where she suddenly snapped her femur and it required emergency surgery. The surgery to implant a rod in her leg was unsuccessful and it required a second surgery, followed by multiple back and neck surgeries. It was really horrible for her and I don’t deny that she needed heavy doses of pain medication. However, that medication changed her personality. It made her angry and edgy.

During my time at the UCLA Extension Writer’s Program, I wrote about these feelings in my essay, Weight. I’ve sat on this essay since 2014 and I finally decided that I was ready to send it out into the world. I was thrilled when Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine wanted to publish it.

I have to confess that my excitement was tempered by the fear that some of my aunt’s friends might read Weight and find it too personal. I wrote my essay from a place of both love and truth, but it was also uncomfortable to admit some of those truths. Luckily, I’ve received messages of support from many of her close friends and now my fears have been replaced with pride.

I’m going to close with a few pictures of my gorgeous Aunt Trudy. She was stylish, witty, and charming. She was generous with a big heart. It still hurts to know that her last years were filled with emotional and physical pain, but none of that can diminish her vibrant life.

My aunt and uncle picking up their marriage license in Las Vegas. Look at the love in my aunt’s gaze!

She showed champion Norwegian Elkhounds.

and finally…a picture of my aunt and I in Chicago.

Social Distancing in Littleton: Week Nine

Week nine…whoa.

Things are getting confusing with the loosening of restrictions. More businesses are open and most people are wearing masks. Pretty much every store asks people to wear masks, but they do nothing to enforce the policy and there are those who refuse to comply, yet still shop. This is frustrating, but I can understand the hard position of the people working at the stores and store owners. The bizarre politics regarding masks has made for a tense environment. People have died from trying to enforce the rules. It’s crazy.

We went to Lowes last week to buy a new BBQ and maybe 90% of the people had on masks and were careful about distancing. To those who went mask-less, I was muttering “A**hole” as I passed them. I just don’t understand the resistance.

As far as I know, my friend’s aunt is the only person in my extended circle that has become infected. Truthfully, it is feeling like things are less serious, but I also don’t want to be naive and let my guard down. I’m still hopeful that we will be able to see the kids this summer.

Back to the BBQ…it ‘s great. I’ve missed having a BBQ. Dan spent Saturday evening building it and on Sunday, we feasted on steak. Heaven. We also got all of our new deck furniture from American Furniture Warehouse, including a table with a fire pit.

The weather was hot and summery all weekend and we spent it in our new garden. We had cocktails and sunbathed. It might be as close as we get to taking a vacation this year, but it certainly wasn’t shabby.

The garden is enclosed with a fence, so our indoor cats were allowed to enjoy it. They explored everything,

Tom proved to be quite the hunter and went after every bug, although I’m not sure that he managed to actually catch anything. Either way, it was cute, especially when he pounced like a rabbit.

Most of our neighbors have dogs, and the cats were fearless, actually wanting to go up to the fence to meet them. Luckily, all of the dogs proved to be friendly. We have to be careful of Slinky, because he is agile enough to jump the fence. Tom is too fat to escape.

I learned that the saying: “It’s just like riding a bicycle,” is bullshit.

Dan bought us bicycles last week and we have been riding nearly every night. The first two days I was pitiful. I rode a bicycle as a kid, but couldn’t remember what to do. I skidded along, rode at a snail’s pace, and freaked out every time I went over a small bump or a car came near me. I was so nervous.

It was much harder than I thought it would be. Part of the reason that I was so edgy, is about fifteen years ago, I did the “Muddy Buddy” race with my ex-husband. In the race, we worked as a team, alternating riding a bike and running, with difficult obstacles at various check-points where we switched off. The race was labeled as something that basically anyone could accomplish.

Lies!!!!

I decided to bike ride the first leg and it included a steep, downhill mountain biking portion. I had never done mountain biking and I saw a guy, clearly someone who was an experienced cyclist, wipe out in front of me. He was covered in blood with a tree branch piercing through his leg. He had to be evacuated. I got off the bike and walked it the rest of the way, shaking. Also, my randomly assigned race number was 666. I’m not superstitious, but maybe the universe was trying to tell me something?

Now my biking confidence is back and I’m enjoying our rides. The next improvement will be a better seat, which Dan purchased for us today. No more sore bottoms!

Last week when I blogged, the Survivor: Winners at War finale had not aired. I’m happy to report that my contestant pick in our bet with the neighbors, won- Tony!!! The neighbors have to make me a Mai Tai. Despite having to scale back on the fanfare, it was a great finale.

We haven’t been watching much TV, but we did watch the horror movie Fantasy Island. Based on the premise, I had really wanted to see this movie. It was a disappointment. Good concept, but the story was weak. The tone was odd; not true horror, more screwball comedy and heavy drama. It could have been great, but it suffered from not knowing what type of movie it wanted to be.

I was busy on Zoom, with the second half of my grammar class on Saturday and a meeting with my new writer’s group on Sunday.

When we were out, we took pictures of the low gas prices. If we are able to go on our road trip this summer, this will be great.

I usually close with cute cat pictures, but this time, I’m sharing a funny picture of me. Today, we had Chipotle for the first time since pre-Covid. And check out that quarantine hair and eye-brows. My next trip to the salon will like getting a complete make-over. You won’t recognize me!

Barnsdall Art Park and Hollyhock House

Have you ever missed something that was right under your nose?

I grew up in the Los Angeles suburb of Glendale and just a short, ten-minute drive from my childhood home, a house that I live in for thirty-nine years, is a famous landmark. It took my mother-in-law visiting from England to get me there.

My mother-in-law, Jan, had always dreamed of touring a Frank Lloyd Wright house. We researched and discovered that Wright’s Hollyhock House is located in Barnsdall Art Park in the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles. During Jan’s autumn 2018 trip (Her last vacation with us, as we lost her in 2019), we were living in Big Bear Lake, but we made a day trip to Los Angeles to visit Hollyhock House.

We arrived early, before Hollyhock House was open. Barnsdall Park has several attractions, including art galleries and a performance space.

The parking lot is free and located at the bottom of Barnsdall Park. There is handicap parking that allows you direct access to the top level, if you need it, otherwise be prepared to climb some stairs.

On our walk, we came across the Hollyhock House Residence A, which is currently under restoration.

And squirrels. Lots of squirrels running around.

We purchased our admission tickets, only seven dollars. As we waited for our entry time, we enjoyed the park and views of Los Angeles. It’s a great place for a Hollywood Sign photo op!

Barnsdall Art Park is named for Aline Barnsdall, an oil heiress and producer of experimental theatre. In 1919, she commissioned Wright to design Hollyhock House, intending the house and surround land to be used for the arts. The project was plagued with problems and Barnsdall fired Wright before he could complete the house. She eventually gifted the land and buildings to the city of Los Angeles. The Hollyhock House is on the UNESCO World Heritage list.

Our experience at Hollyhock House began with a short guided tour of the exterior. The motif of hollyhocks is carried throughout the house and the house is done in the style of Mayan Revival Architecture.

The interior portion of the house was self-guided with docents in each room available to answer questions. We were not allowed to take pictures and we had to be very careful not to touch the walls or furniture, as everything is very fragile.

I have to confess, that the exteriors of the house did not impress me. I found them cold and sterile. The interiors were quite a bit warmer, with wood floors and furniture to break up the grey concrete. The home had vintage furnishings from when Aline Barnsdall lived there in the 30’s and 40’s. It was like stepping into another era. Jan was thrilled to have visited a Frank Lloyd Wright home and I was happy to experience part of Los Angels history.

On the way home, we stopped for gas on Los Feliz Blvd and the station had very cool murals. I have filled- up at this station in the past, but I had never noticed the art. Maybe they’re new or maybe when you live in a place, you take for granted your surroundings. I miss Los Angeles and when we visit, I try to soak it all in. As we are now living in Colorado, I think this sentiment is going to be even strong for future visits to my home town. I hope that a Los Angeles trip is in my near future!